I am 24 & dating my long-term beau (he’s 23) — whom I do not see myself marrying/settling down with. I am unsure about the future with him.. We were high school sweethearts & go way, way back. We went to school together. We dated for almost 4 years & then broke up for a couple reasons. After a year & a half apart, he perused me in May & we started dating again. It all happened so fast (maybe too fast), next thing I knew we were just like we used to be. I felt that if I didn’t try I may regret & think “what if..” I didn’t want to be left wondering & of course being each other’s first loves, there were lingering feelings & nostaligia “remember when..” etc. Well, some things have changed–while some things have not changed. He has not matured as much as I’d like & I have changed a great deal. We still both live in the same small town (he’s not going anywhere, as his landscaping business is based here & so is all his family). I almost felt like he asked me out again because he literally can’t get anyone else.. He’s not very romantic (which I’m usually okay with lol), not all that charming and doesn’t know the right things to say, etc. He’s always struggled in the dating arena. But somehow he still had a hold on my heart & vice versa. Well, I am concerned about a few things at this point after a couple months of dating again; For one thing, he recently moved in with a friend (his first time out of parents house) and I can’t stand the guy. He’s not really the greatest friend or a good example & loves to party, get wasted, etc. He’s pretty lame.. kinda trailer-trashy, sits around with his beer watching tv. You get the picture. He has no girlfriend & could care less if/when my bf hangs out with me. This is something I think I can deal with, but the other concerns are larger; My boyfriend and I are on very different planes in our belief systems. It is something that kinda haunts me in the back of my mind. It isn’t something I can’t really shake. I’ll forget about it for a few weeks, but then it creeps up again (he’s a liberal agnostic in a non-church going family; I was raised conservative christian..I’m aware his parents can’t stand me esp his mom). He respects my beliefs, but I can’t help but remember how we used to argue sometimes about our opposite views. While I am not a religious freak or like the people portrayed on TV, at the end of the day I have my faith & stick to my guns. We have not discussed anything religious since we started dating again. I was thinking I may invite him out to church in a few months in a non-pushy way, but if he says no then I think I should give up on converting him & move on..Because it IS somewhat important to me. I can’t ignore it. Next, I am concerned I may be accidentally using him in a way.. He gives me most of my social life. Half my friends live far away, and when we hang out he has fun ideas or places to go. I work 32 hours a week so that eats up a lot of social time too. Lastly, we are both virgins & I feel this sense of urgency in a way that he wants to get on with it already now that we’re older.. He has always respected my body & I give him major props for that.. It is very safe to say he didn’t just want me for sex — he never got it in the 3 1/2 years we dated! BUT I still don’t really want to do it now either..No matter how old I am because I want to wait til I have further commitment from someone (at least be engaged). I don’t care if I sound old-school, that’s just the way I am. I used to suggest this but at this point I don’t know how he’d handle it if I said I need a ring before intercourse.

I think we may be BOTH using each other in a way? We are comfortable with each other — we know how to laugh, how to have a good time. We have some good memories. But I don’t think that is enough to sustain a future. What are your thoughts? Where should I go from here? In my small gossipy town, I don’t want to be known as the dysfunctional couple but I try not to care what others think.. I’d just rather possibly break it off sooner rather than later and end up really hurt. It’s like I DO love him, but I don’t know if I should keep pursuing this.. I’m not sure if I’m IN love with him anymore.. Too much time went by, I had started to move on in a sense. Like part of me moved on at least? I feel neutral but when we’re together I usually have a blast & he’s smiling too.. Idk what to do.. My gut feeling says that this may be no good.. I don’t want to feel used. I am so torn.. Thank you for input.. This is a tough situation, I really need mature unbiased help. It is hard to get advice from friends/family on this. I need input from outsiders. It is greatly appreciated. THANK YOU.

I want to put in new bathroom fixtures, as in a clawfoot tub and new cabinets in the bathrooms.

What kind of landscaping should I be looking at?

What about a deck? I have one, but I think it’s ugly and want to tear it down. Do patios without a ceiling vs ones with a ceiling sell better or worse?

Any other suggestions? Do you have a favorite website about this kind of thing?

Thanks all.

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My parents have bought a new-built home, and there is no yard and fencing. My dad is the type to look for the cheapest option for a yard, as long as he has a place to grill. My mom wants an Asia-themed garden, with Feng Shui and Zen elements. Since I’m in school for design (not landscaping design, but… doesn’t make much of a difference to my parents), they asked me to put together a concept for the back yard.

I threw something together in Sketchup:

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b101/pua_wahine/LandscapeSnap.png

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b101/pua_wahine/LandscapeSnap5.png

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b101/pua_wahine/LandscapeSnap4.png

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b101/pua_wahine/LandscapeSnap2.png

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b101/pua_wahine/LandscapeSnap7.png

The house faces north. I have the back elevated section with a retaining wall because the surrounding properties and part of our southwest corner are about that height, the same height of our basement that is visible above ground; this would be level with the first floor. The hardscaping and steps could be concrete – doesn’t have to be too fancy. The retaining wall as well can be simple cinderblock; we can stucco that later. The green area around that with the plants, and at the side of the garage could be gravel/pebbles or a groundcover such as moss – I’m leaning more towards pebbles because moss likely wouldn’t do well in our climate unless we maintain it well (hadiness zone 6/7, extremely dry and hot summers). The plants along the retaining wall I plan to be blue rug juniper, and the tree a Japanese maple. At the side of the house, by the garage, we’d like bamboo. There will be other plants, but the maple, bamboo and juniper are the only specific plants we’re looking at. The whole rest of the back yard would be sod (back yard on east side stops at the corner of the south wall). Other elements, such as the pergola, fire pit, furniture etc would come later and are not considered in part of the cost at the moment.

As far as dimensions, the height of the retaining wall would be 3 ft. The distance from the south wall (kitchen wall, w/ back door) to the fence is 40 ft; the south wall that sticks out extends 4 ft. The length from the west fence to the east fence (to corner of house) would be 60ft. The dimensions of the elevated section specifically would be 40′ north to south, 45′ east to west.

I realize the 3D model is a little off on proportions but it’s just for a visual to get the general idea of the design.
Forgot to add location to help decipher costs! We’re in Utah County, Utah, closer to the lake. Lehi/Saratoga Springs/American Fork area.

These are the things that I have made for my parents and grandma:

movie
Cup
shirt
Hard clay heart
Jewelry box
book
picture frame

I’m running out of ideas. I love being creative but I can’t come up with anything.

I was thinking of making a little mini yard with fake grass, a wooden house and a mini lawn mower with a fence around it because my dad does landscaping, but I don’t know if I will find everything I need.

Any CREATIVE and different ideas?